Can You Help Me Please (self Conscious)?
I have always wanted to go Goth, i have since i was about 10 yrs old, i feel goth i listen to goth music but i have trouble expressing my feelings in my appearance, i would love to look goth but i am quite self conscious and i know that goths shouldn’t be self conscious.
Anyway I want to dress, do my hair and wear goth makeup (makeup can be for males too) but i am self conscious and i do it at home but as soon as we go somewhere i run into the bathroom, wash out the hair gel, take of my black clothes and try to look as normal as possible.
This question is to ask how do I stop being so self conscious and not freak out about looking weird and not conforming to what everyone else thinks i should look like.
November 11th, 2009 at 1:41 am
I see that you say that your desire is to make your outsides show what you feel on the inside. What we are on the inside is always changing. But if you really want to make that leap into the “goth” identity I suggest an acclimation approach. Go little by little. Start with the hair then move on the makeup on the eyes a little dab at a time. Each time you make a change to yourself to look more “goth” and go out judge how you feel. Ask yourself does this feel right? Or is it just a passing fancy? As time goes by and more and more of your outward appearance matches your inward feelings see how it turns out. You might exactly as you imagine yourself now. However I bet you’ll find some middle ground which really shows the true you.
November 11th, 2009 at 5:33 am
When you start hanging out with some other people who are also into Goth, you won’t feel so self-conscious going out in public (especially if they are with you.) Keep in mind, though, that some older people may tend to think you are strange or even into the black arts from dressing that way. Every generation wears different clothing and likes different music. As long as you don’t act dangerous, you should be o.k. but if you talk about demons and stuff while you’re dressed in Goth, you’re going to freak some people out.
November 11th, 2009 at 6:47 am
I don’t think you really want to be goth. just because you do what goths do doesnt mean you have to fit the stereotype. just try it one step at a time though if you really want, saving the hair for last. starts with black nailpolish, then black and red clothing. then just black. then cut your hair in a emo/goth style. then do the makeup. but all within a reaosnable time period:)
November 11th, 2009 at 11:12 am
I think if you just went for it and walked around in public dressed how you want to dress, you would realize people don’t really care. There are plenty of people who dress different from the norm.
November 11th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
If you’re thinking about not conforming, why go Goth? All you’ll end up doing is conforming to their Goth standards. Why not just be yourself?
November 11th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Dude, people will judge you whatever you look like, its in our nature as humans. I look at cheap trackies and think ‘chav’, a overly made up girl and think ‘slut’. It doesnt ake me a bad person, because I dont treat them different, its just thoughts that we cant really control.
If you are nervous, then go gradually. Wear one black item, like jeans or whatever, everyones sees you have black jeans. Then another day wear a black top with goth logo or whatver, but with regular jeans, so people see that top, then boots etc, maybe start spiking your hair, could dye it black or whatever colour, gradually merging your clothes and style into one, and people will be less shocked.